Grow Your Confidence: 3 Tips that AREN’T about Appearance

Confidence is something everyone loves to talk about-we all want it, right?  First, it’s how we feel good about ourselves- and who wouldn’t want to be happy with themselves? Confidence also gives us the courage to be bold and go after our dreams. Soooo.. How do we get confident? If you’ve ever searched for the answer, many (especially when geared towards women), will tell you to look your best and level up your appearance. And while this is certainly true, it surely isn’t the only way we can practice confidence. So, what to do then? Here are 3 ways you can work on your confidence without having a second thought about your appearance. 

1. Find a new hobby

Think about something that you’re really good at- a skill, hobby, or activity, such as writing, playing a sport, or even doing makeup. How does it make you feel when you’re skilled at something? My guess is, pretty damn good. When you’re competent at something, it naturally builds your confidence. The more things you’re good at, the more you will feel good about yourself. Just the feeling of ‘Damn, I can do that?”. More of that, please!

1. Make promises to yourself and KEEP THEM

Have you ever had that friend who it seems as if they’re always going back on their word? When they say they will… they don’t. It’s disappointing when you can’t rely on someone for much, so why would you do the same thing to yourself? When you consistently break promises to yourself (for example, you always tell yourself you’ll make it to the gym after work but you never do), you lose trust in yourself and your ability to make things happen. You’ll be much happier and confident with yourself when you decide to keep the promises you make to yourself- plus you can actually make your goals happen!

1. Enforce positive boundaries

If there is one thing I have learned about myself in the past few years, it is that I am an extreme people pleaser. The thought of someone being upset with me or even disliking me used to worry me to death. I want to make people happy- there’s nothing wrong with that, but if you become so focused on making others happy that you forget about yourself, it becomes an issue. This is where enforcing positive boundaries comes in. An example of a positive boundary is simply saying no- such as not responding to work emails after the work day is over, or on weekends. You could say no to going out for drinks every weekend in the interest of your money saving or health goals. The point is, a simple no can save you so much- peace of mind, stress, money, etc. When you enforce boundaries, you are better able to delegate time and resources to yourself, rather than other people. When you have the time and ability to work on yourself, you can do things that make you feel better, things that actually make you better. You can delegate the time you used to spend making other people happy by now working on YOU- your side hustle, your health and wellness, hobbies, etc. So don’t be afraid to say no sometimes. 

Conclusion

It’s essential to remember that confidence isn’t necessarily a feeling- it’s a skill. When we consistently work at things to build a skill it will eventually become natural. Three ways to build this skill include:

1. Finding a new hobby
2. Making promises to yourself and KEEPING them
3. Enforcing positive boundaries

Try these three methods to build your confidence- they have certainly helped me. Got any other ideas on building confidence? Let us know down below!